Toddler Car

Before I get into this post, I want to throw the disclaimer out there that my feelings on a subject I have not experienced and my comparison of my non-related experiences to that experience should not be seen as my belittling the actual doing or having of that experience or the suggestion that I know anything about what I’m talking about when it comes to the experience (and not having experienced it, how could I?); it’s more of a disappointed realization that if I feel like this now, before I’ve actually experienced it, then how much worse is it going to be when I do experience it?  It’s also an expression of amazement that those of you who have actually done or had the real experience; that those of you who actually have experienced it have made it through to the other side and not killed anyone.  That being said…

I feel like a few things in my life have suddenly decided to become angry, angry toddlers and now, because I’ve so far managed to display my adulthood by not burning my house down for a whole eight months, I’m supposed to magically be able to handle all this other stuff like some kind of super mom who can calmly and gracefully rationalize her two year old out of chewing on the cat.

My car is a jerk.  Literally.  As in a couple months ago, the car starting violently jerking when idling.  In an attempt to solve this problem outside of a mechanic, Glenn diagnosed all of the things he thought could be causing the rough idle, and we’ve been replacing each of those parts one by one, in order of least to most expensive.  So far we’ve replaced the spark plugs, the spark plug wires, the ignition coil, and the camshaft sensor.  Glenn also cleaned every part he could think of.  It got better for a little while after all that, but now it’s gone back to being just as jerky as before.  The next part to replace is the fuel filter.  I have the part, but now need to get my hands on a set of jack stands so that Ally or Glenn can replace that part. And if that doesn’t do it, the car is going to the mechanic, expense be damned.  I’m tired of driving in fear that the car is going to blow up at any second.

Why my car is an angry, angry toddler:  All of this started when my car realized that I was less than six months away from having it paid off.  She figured out I was going to have some financial breathing room and a little bit of piece of mind and would not stand for it.  She’s demanding attention, but whatever attention I give her isn’t right.  So she found the most inappropriate time to break down and it did it in a way that any and everyone around me can see.  People stare at me at red lights!  I can no longer have passengers in my car without them asking “What’s wrong with your car?” when we stop for a stop sign.  And they always ask as though I’m mistreating my vehicle.  It’s not my fault!  She was fine, just fine, and then she started acting up out of nowhere.  I keep giving her things that I think she’s asking for, but nothing makes her happy and she just keeps acting up and she won’t tell me what’s wrong and I’m not made of money AND OH GOD, WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT ME LIKE I’M A BAD CAR OWNER?!  She’s the one acting up!  I’m just trying to get to work and be a responsible adult and my car is an asshole.

…I’m going to be a shitty parent.